No, not really. But it was a legitimate brush with discomfort and moderate pain. Sunday during church I started experiencing some chest pains. Nothing too bad, but they gradually got worse throughout the day. I decided to call my sister Mary and tell her my symptoms because she's a labor and delivery nurse, but all she could think of was to ask me how much I was dilated. She did tell me to go to the hospital, so Robyn and I went to the ER in York. The triage nurse gave me an EKG and showed the results to the doctor, who decided it was slightly abnormal and sent me back. There I was given an IV, which is horrible because I hate needles above almost everything. Then came all the questions:
Q: Do you drink alcohol?
Q: Have you done any intravenous drugs lately?
Q: Do you smoke?
Q: Are you allergic to any medications?
Q: You haven't been taking any drugs, right?
Q: Do you have any drug allergies?
Q: Are you taking any sort of male enhancement drugs?
A: None of your business.
I got a chest x-ray, which came out normal. Finally the doctor said that he was 99% certain it was an ulcer and that there was a 1% chance it was something called pericarditis, an inflammation of the heart lining. So we went home, he gave me a prescription for some tummy medicine and told me to take ibuprofen just in case.
The next day Robyn and I went to the airport. She to go to Utah for 5 weeks because my travel schedule this month is so crazy and to get tons of gifts from baby showers (she took along an empty suitcase), and I to go to some barren Louisiana town. Walking around the airport made my chest start pounding. I began to get really short of breath and couldn't even talk it got so bad. So I went up to the TSA agents and asked for a place I could rest until my sister Mary came and picked me up. They called the EMT's. They suggested I go right to the hospital, which I agreed to because by that time I was feeling really bad and couldn't breathe very well at all. In the ambulance I got another EKG and next thing I knew I was in the ER with nurses buzzing around me sticking needles all in me. But long story short, I had pericarditis, which is a temporary infection that can mimic a heart attack but isn't nearly as serious.
The story has a happy ending, though. The next day when I woke up, it was as if it never happened. I felt almost completely better. A lot of people were very concerned. Little Joshie, upon hearing that his favorite uncle and source of his bewitching good looks was ill, went promptly to the bathroom and said a prayer for me. It was no doubt those prayers that aided me in my fast recovery.