First Stop: Hershey Park!

We arrived at the airport around 1 p.m. As we were waiting for our luggage, the puke smell really started to set in. I made a b-line for the restroom to change as soon as I had my luggage. We decided to head straight to Hershey Park from the airport since it was our only chance to go before the park closed for the season. There was a huge accident on highway I-81 that forced it's closure. This totally threw off our timing as we were trying to find our own way around on back roads. After asking several service stations for directions, we made it there at 6:30, giving us 3 1/2 hours to play before the park closed. They have a discounted rate of $25 if you go after 5 p.m. As we were paying $50 for 3 1/2 hours of fun, a man approached us and asked if we needed tickets and gave us a free ticket, so we got in for $25 for the both of us! We were thrilled. It was a much needed boost to our day! After eating some quality overpriced amusement park food, we headed to our first coaster, the one pictured above - Fahrenheit. We waited an hour and a half to get one this ride which lasts a minute and 25 seconds. I'm not sure it was worth the wait, but I knew I would regret not having gotten to ride it. I love the adrenaline rush that I get from riding roller coasters. This coaster takes you up on a 90 degree angle and then descends at 97 degrees.



This was our favorite roller coaster - Storm Runner. It has a hydraulic launch. So, we started off just sitting there and Matt and I looked at each other and he said, "I wonder if this is going to launch us up." As soon as he said that, we took off and it took my breath away! I could not believe it - we accelerated from 0 to 72 miles per hour in about 2 seconds! They take a picture of you during the acceleration and we wish we would have bought it. Matt's cheeks were blowing back and we both looked scared out of our minds! We ended up riding four roller coasters and all I can say is I am so grateful for that sweet man for giving us the free ticket. After a day of constant movement, I was glad to get home and stay still and sleep! Next up - Amish country!

Introduction

The Steens recently returned from their much anticipated visit to the Keystone State, Pennsylvania. For some of our readers, Pennsylvania is a place they only think they've heard of but know nothing about. Over the next several installments, we hope to share with you the wonders and delights of our nation's second state and a chronicle of our exciting visit last week.

The journey to Pennsylvania started off well enough. We had a very early flight (6am) to Denver. At Denver International airport we enjoyed a short breakfast and started the second leg of our journey to Baltimore-Washington International airport. That's when things got interesting. I sat in the aisle seat and Robyn in the middle seat. By the window was a lady who seemed as normal as any other. 2 hours into the 3 hour flight, the lady had to go to the bathroom. Shortly after she returned she suddenly announced she had to get up again. Then, without warning she threw up all over Robyn! Yes, dear reader you read correctly! My sainted wife was covered in the regurgitated bile of a complete stranger! And I didn't exactly help matters. After the lady hurled on Robyn, I was half standing, half sitting in a shocked stupor at the spectacle. Robyn looked at me and with justified yet remarkably restrained sternness told me: "Matt, MOVE!" Right when she did a second wave of vomit struck my poor wife.

Both of us hurried to the bathroom (I had a little on my leg). Robyn spent about 20 minutes cleaning up. As far as vomit goes, this stuff was pretty tame. It appeared the lady had only been consuming soda over the previous few hours. The flight attendants did all they could to help rectify the situation. We got new seats and feasted on free snack boxes (how we mustered the appetite is anyone's guess). Robyn was very gracious for someone who had just been barfed on, assuring the lady that it was alright.

Tomorrow, our harrowing trip to Hershey Park!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

A couple of weeks ago after reading a book entitled "Total Money Makeover," Robyn and I decided to make a strict budget and combine bank accounts in an effort to live more frugally, save money, and try and tackle my crippling student loan debt that threatens to tear our marriage apart. I wanted to stay with Wells Fargo. She wanted to stay with Zion's Bank. We had both been with our respective banks for about 10 years. As is often the case, I acquiesced, and closed my Wells Fargo accounts. It was a gut wrenching scene down at the local WF branch as the bank employee pleaded with me through tears to tell her what they had done wrong to lose my business. After a few noble but ultimately unfruitful attempts to retain me as a customer, I took my $13 and deposited it in Zion's Bank.

Back to this Total Money Makeover thing. Dave Ramsey, the author, suggests that people live a pretty spartan lifestyle, sacrificing things you want now to pay off debts and save for the future. Arguably the most important part of that process is making a budget and ridding yourself of unneeded expenditures. The following is the Steeners' September budget to give you an idea of what a well-rounded budget looks like (some of these items are bought monthly in bulk and stored for future use):

Groceries: $100
Utilities: $150
Gas: $200
Shark Repellant: $175
Roofing Nails: $250
New Clothes Budget (Robyn): $1,000
New Clothes Budget (Matt): $25
Monthly Donation to Daughters of the American Revolution: $500
Scented Candles: $45
Fake Eyelashes (Robyn): $75
Typhoon Insurance: $125
Hand Soap: $75
Dryer Sheets: $100
Entertainment: $500
Eating Out: $700
Maid Service: $400
Fantasy Football: $50
Massage/Pedicures: $200
Ice Cream: $200
Ice Cream Toppings: $100
Emergency Replacement Cabinet Door Grabs: $250
Car Air Fresheners: $100
Lint Brushes: $100

Finally, I know that most of our 6 or 7 blog readers are friends of Robyn. Please know that I badger her almost daily to post something on here and my admonitions go unheeded. Please do whatever you can to encourage her to contribute to the Steeners' blog and keep it going.

Best. Day. Ever.

Yesterday was an unusually good day for the Steeners, particularly the Steeners' patriarch. Yesterday I found out I passed the bar exam! The results came out much earlier than usual, at 6 weeks. They usually come out right at the 8 week mark. My friend heard a rumor from someone that they would be out either Friday or Saturday. I was a little incredulous, but Saturday morning my friend called me and told me they were posted on the utah bar's website. I told him my exam number and he checked for me. It was quite a relief that I passed. I was so afraid I wouldn't pass and would have to slink away from my law firm embarrassed and humiliated.

Later in the afternoon I got to go to the BYU-UCLA game and witness perhaps the most dominating display of football ever seen at Lavell Edwards Stadium. The Cougars absolutely emasculated the overmatched Bruins. It was high entertainment indeed. I'm hoping this week goes by fast because Saturday the Steeners travel to the Keystone state for a long awaited return to my homeland. We have a full slate of activities in store: Hershey Park, a trip to NYC to see Wicked, and a trip to Palmyra to see the church sites, and in between a trip down memory lane to see all of my old childhood haunts. I anticipate some detailed postings when we return.

Obama's Stirring Speech

Barack Obama accepted the Democratic nomination for President of the United States on Thursday night. For months now, Obama has been winning throngs of fawning supporters with his charisma, intelligence, and pie-in-the-sky, fantasy-like vision for the future. All of those traits were in full display in Obama's acceptance speech. For those of you who missed it, the Steeners have gone to great lengths to transcribe it and reproduce it here.

First, Obama strolled into Invesco field astride a white unicorn with a scepter in his right hand. Weeping supporters shed their clothing and laid it at the feet of their leader. After 25 minutes of exhaustive applause, Obama lifted a finger to signal the crowd to hold their peace and began to speak . . .

"My fellow Americans, I thank you for that well deserved, yet insufficient display of affection. We stand today at the precipice of immortality for my career and legacy. Four years ago I introduced myself to you for the first time: a wunderkind, a dashing, well educated god in embryo who was waiting for the world to catch up to me. Now, 4 years later, the rest of the world has finally realized what I've known since I was in bell bottoms: I am destined to transform our broken country into a paradise of happiness and prosperity that will make the Care Bears green with envy. [Deafening applause]

Our country is in dire straits. We're paying $4 a gallon for gas, mired in a dead-end war and the Republicans offer you 4 more years of the same product in a different wrapper. Let me tell you what I offer. I will end our dependence on foreign oil--completely. By properly inflating our tires, lowering the speed limit to 15 miles an hour and instituting mandatory car pools of no fewer than 6 persons per car, we will cut our dependence on oil 75%. The other 25% can be accounted for by regulating industry. Instead of oil burning factories that pollute, we can mobilize millions of gerbils and hamsters and other small, hard working rodents on immense wheels, simultaneously providing power to our factories and correcting the unemployment rate that cripples our pet population. [Deafening applause]

Education is another dire concern. Even now as I grace you with my voice, millions of students are languishing in schools that are not Harvard. Every student deserves the opportunity to go to a university that inspires awe and insecurity in others. I guarantee you every person will have such a chance. [Deafening applause]

Universal health care has long been seen as an impossible task for Washington. I promise you that every man, woman, and child will have full access to first rate medical attention by the finest foreign doctors we can import into this country. [Deafening applause]

National security is a major concern of all Americans. John McCain has served my country well, and I mean that, but the days of the gun toting Rambo who defends his country with force and is willing to sacrifice his life or risk injury or delay education and career goals for people he's never even met are over. I propose a new brand of policy that utilizes technology and tact. When I am elected President, I will push for tough new applications on facebook that punish men like Ahmadinejad and Putin for their bullying. In this day and age, a frowny face icon is just as effective as bombs and guns. And, if necessary, I am even willing to send mean text messages and block them from my contacts list on MSN Messenger. [Deafening applause]

People wonder where all the money will come from for these changes. I will trim government down by eliminating unneeded programs like the Navy, Air Force, Army, and the other one that's like the Army but starts with an M or something.

The Republicans will tell you that this is all happy talk. Well it is happy talk! But together we can do it. But that's not even the most important thing. The important thing is that you think I can do it. This election has never been about me, but YOUR adoration for me. [Deafening applause]

Unfortunately, I've grown bored with you and our time together is over. But before I do let me say: avert your gaze!" [Obama then ascended a crystal stair case and boarded a solid gold coach pulled by NBC journalists, to deafening applause and the strains of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus].

Brian Regan

Friday night we went out with Mandy and Lance. We had dinner at the Olive Garden - Lance's choice. I was tempted to override this decision for dinner, but knowing in Richfield, UT they have to choose between eating out at Subway or getting a hotdog at the local Maverick, I let the choice stand. I mean, you can only eat Subway sandwiches and hotdogs that have been heating under florescent lights for hours so many times - and Lance is a big guy, he needs a good meal once in a while. We headed up to Thanksgiving Point afterward to see Brian Regan (a comedian). The show started at 8 and we got up there around 7:30 and it was packed! Luckily, Mandy ran into an old friend from the singles ward and asked if they had room for 4. He said they were actually moving to sit with some friends on the grass and so they would give up there spot to us - front and center - on a cement pad. It wasn't too bad! Better than sitting in the very back. Brian Regan was great - you should really check him out if you haven't. My roommate, Melanie, introduced him to me in college. He is a clean comedian which is hard to find these days and his facial expressions add so much to the comedy. Lance added to the entertainment value with his laugh. We headed out to "Spoon Me" afterward. This is a new yogurt place in town. One of my associates at AT told me about it so we decided to give it a shot.



They happened to be having a big rave - tons of college students dancing around and the music so loud, you had to yell to place your order. Let's just say we were really feeling our age and were the only ones there with wedding rings on. They played a few songs we knew like - "I Like Big Butts" - to which Lance knew all the words.

Here is one of my favorite Brian Regan acts:

10 Year Anniversary

Today is my 10th year anniversary of RM-hood! On August 13th, 1998 my plan touched down in Harrisburg, PA to a small crowd of family and well wishers. It's hard to believe it's been that long. Time sure flies. When I got home I thought I knew everything and had reached a spiritual plateau. I was so naive. But I'm pretty sure I'm there now.

In Olympic news, the Steeners are thoroughly enjoying the games. Robyn was especially impressed with the synchronized diving, which is usually an unheralded and overlooked sport. While Robyn may not have been greatly interested in the sport itself, the svelte figures of the divers certainly grabbed her attention. At one point she dreamily exclaimed with rapt, vacant eyes, her mouth agape: "look at those guys' abs." She then went on for a few minutes about the abs.


Robyn carries an Olympic-sized torch for these guys . . .

The real meat of the Olympic games, of course, is women's handball. Early this morning the Hungarians stunned the Germans 25-24. Hungary's Gorbicz scored the game winner and now leads all other handballers with 24 goals so far.